August 06, 2005

The Outhouse Principle

As I mowed my lawn today, cursing the lush growth that occurs where the septic tank is located, I had a bit of a revelation. It's not as earthshattering as Einstein's theory of relativity, but I'm excited about it nonetheless.

I call it "The Outhouse Principle." It's fairly simple and can be applied to many situations. What is it, you ask?

When either reading or hearing a story about something that's going on in the world, consider the source and think: should this person/news outlet really be preaching about this particular topic?

In other words, there are some who should be paying more attention the crap in their own backyards.

Here are some recent examples where the Outhouse Principle can apply:

• The New York Times' investigation into Justice John G. Roberts' adoption of his two young children. The Times has had its share of recent embarrassments, including the hiring and encouragement of Jayson Blair, liar extraordinaire. Who are they to take it upon themselves to look for irregularities in the adoption of two lovely children by a judge, whom they obviously hope to discredit, because he was nominated by George W. Bush? And why aren't they talking about the next item on this Outhouse Principle list...

• Anything and everything blabbed by the airheads on Air America. Air America received a "loan" from a publicly funded charitable organization, and then failed to pay it back. (Oh, but they're going to pay it back now that the nature of the loan has been made public.) Meanwhile, Al Franken is constanly harping about "lies" and the "lying liars" who tell them. Shouldn't he be 'fessing up to the truth in this matter?

• Idiot celebrities who scream that the war in Iraq is all about the oil. Techno "legend" Moby recently blogged about this subject while in Australia on a concert tour. What he fails to realize is that without oil, he wouldn't be able to get to Australia in a matter of 24 hours and tour the country in a comfortable bus. Unless he plans to begin traveling by windjammer and horse and buggy, Moby should stick to his music (and I use the term "music" loosely).

The possibilities for applying the Outhouse Principle are endless. Heck, I'm sure it can be used to talk about me! In any case, be sure to tune into this blog for future Outhouse Principle alerts. (Like a Barbra Streisand "Truth Alert," but spelled properly.)

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