May 22, 2005

Coldplay: The Sound of a New Generation

First off, I would like to thank all of you who expressed condolences on the death of my brother-in-law. While there is still the memorial service to get through, as well as helping my sister get her life back on track, my mind is starting to work again. So again, many thanks.

Now, to business.

Recently, Chris Martin(aka Mr. Gwynneth Paltrow) of Coldplay complained that he and his bandmates were uncomfortable selling so many albums that stock prices of their record company, EMI, could be affected.

"It's very strange for us that we spent 18 months in the studio just trying to make songs that make us feel a certain way and then suddenly become part of this corporate machine," Martin said backstage.

He then moaned about what he called "the slavery that we are all under to shareholders".

Here's a solution for Mr. Martin (and Coldplay): once your contract is over, stop making music commercially. Just play the club circuit. That way, you can still make a living without being beholden to the evil corporation and its shareholders that provide you with the millions of dollars you and your wife seem to have no trouble spending.

Did they question the ethics of working with a corporation when your band was discovered and first signed to EMI? It's doubtful. Hypocrites like Chris Martin really make the rest of us want to toss our cookies. Here they are, sitting in the lap of luxury, making money hand over fist by creating music (not saving lives, not teaching schoolchildren, not policing dangerous city streets), and they're "uncomfortable" with it. Give me a break! If they were that dedicated to their code of ethics, they wouldn't have signed a contract in the first place.

In case the members of Coldplay really don't want to cut off the vast supply of money, here's another idea: sign a sponsorship deal with Pepsi. After all, what could be better to represent a company whose president and CFO, Indra Noori, thinks that America could be likened to the middle finger of a hand? A finger that

can convey a negative message and get us in trouble. You know what IÕm talking about. In fact, I suspect youÕre hoping that IÕll demonstrate what I mean. And trust me, IÕm not looking for volunteers to model...

Unfortunately, I think this is how the rest of the world looks at the U.S. right now. Not as part of the hand � giving strength and purpose to the rest of the fingers � but, instead, scratching our nose and sending a far different signal.

Evil capitalism and America, according to many in the world, go hand in hand. So Coldplay and Pepsi should have no problem inking a contract that would satisfy their leftwing guilt complexes.

(You can click here to see Indra Noori's apology.)

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