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June 16, 2006

Friday Funnies

Ugh...it's a lovely Friday and I am stuck indoors. Work is deathly slow and I am bored out of my skull! In desperation, I begged someone for amusement and he sent me the following jokes. I liked them and thought I'd pass them on to you. Enjoy!

Darn funny stuff!


Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck. A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. The reporter began entering data into his laptop, beginning with the headline: "Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal." "But I'm not a Celtics fan," the little hero interjected. "Sorry," replied the reporter. "But since we're in Boston I just assumed you were." Hitting the delete key, the reporter began again: "John Kerry Fan rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack." "But I'm not a Kerry fan either," the boy responds. The reporter says, "I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Celtics or Kerry or Kennedy. What team or person do you like?" "I'm a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush," the boy says. Hitting the delete key, the reporter writes: "Arrogant Little Neo-Con Redneck Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."


Some campaign slogans for Hillary Clinton when she runs for president:

* Read My Lips - No New Interns! * Vote For Me Or My Husband Will Nail Your Wife. * Oh Lord, Please Don't Make Me Move Back To Arkansas! * Isn't It Time You Were Disappointed By A Different Clinton? * Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You; Ask How You Can Illegally Contribute To My Campaign.


Q: What's the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A: The puppy stops whining when it grows up.

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Posted by Pam Meister at 10:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Humor
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