September 27, 2006
Are You a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner?
Take this quiz and find out! (stolen from Tammy Bruce)
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 calibre, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Republican's Answer:
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BANG!
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Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
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Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click "Damn! I'm out!"
Daughter: "Nice pattern Daddy! Were those the Silver Tips, black talons, or them new Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one Daddy?"
Wife: "You ain't takin' THAT to no Taxidermist!"
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Show Comments »
That is CLASSIC!
posted by
Gayle Miller at September 27, 2006 02:11 PM
Good one! I'm stealin' it...
posted by
reverse_vampyr at September 27, 2006 02:51 PM
Now that is some funny crap! I am sorry to say that I am not a Southerner, but I am a Republican.
posted by
Denny at September 28, 2006 03:32 AM
Aw, come on! You expect us to believe any self-respectin' Southerner (I assume you include Texans in that group) would be caught with only enough extra shells for one reload? And why didn't the wife join in? Women's lib, and all. ;) If I had to wager, I'd say that at least a third of our Texas gals can easily outshoot their hubbies, especially when it comes to defending their cubs.
Great post, Pam! I might have to steal that one myself. :)
posted by
Kyle at September 28, 2006 07:45 AM
I love it! Thanks for the chuckle.
posted by
joe-6-pack at September 28, 2006 09:46 AM
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Good one! I'm stealin' it...
Now that is some funny crap! I am sorry to say that I am not a Southerner, but I am a Republican.
Aw, come on! You expect us to believe any self-respectin' Southerner (I assume you include Texans in that group) would be caught with only enough extra shells for one reload? And why didn't the wife join in? Women's lib, and all. ;) If I had to wager, I'd say that at least a third of our Texas gals can easily outshoot their hubbies, especially when it comes to defending their cubs.
Great post, Pam! I might have to steal that one myself. :)
I love it! Thanks for the chuckle.
