November 30, 2006
How to End to Airline Profiling
It's highly entertaining to read the comments that Town Hall readers post to various columnists' daily entries. Here's an amusing one that was posted to Ann Coulter's column today (entitled Airport Security Should Be Profiling Arabs):
troglodyte writes: Thursday, November, 30, 2006 3:23 AM
An end to profiling, please!
All profiling at airports would be unnecessary if we adopted a few simple measures:
1) All airlines must upgrade their upholstery to have pigskin trim, like on the arm rests and such.
2) The ink used to print airline tickets should contain a percentage of lard practicable for printing.
3) All lubricants in and around all airports, and on doors and seats in aircraft cabins should contain 10% lard with signs to this effect.
4) Airports should abandon those high tech hand held explosive sniffers handled by imbeciles in favor of dogs and pigs. Yes, pigs! Very good sense of smell, smart and packed with Muslim repelling power!
5) Passengers will be issued a Chihuahua to hold on their lap during the flight.
6) For those allergic to dogs, a Vietnamese pot bellied pig will be offered as an alternative.
7) Pork rinds will replace peanuts for in-flight snacks.
8) Kosher meals and snack will be available to passengers showing proof of being Jewish.
9) Vegetarians…hmmm…Sorry,better luck next time.
Crude, rude, non-PC? Yep. Amusing? Yep!
Show Comments »
I love it. I TOTALLY love it! Let's get right on it, okay?
Posted by: Gayle Miller at November 30, 2006 12:29 PMMaybe each airplane could adopt a small, pot-bellied pig as a mascot to greet the passengers as they board (the pigs are cute when they are little). Then when the plane takes off, the piglet's cage could be put in one of the jump seats.
The passengers could be advised that there will be a small amount of squealing by the pig until it's ears "equalize". Maybe a little porcine squealing will remind the Muslim passengers that they don't want to die along with a pig.
Maybe they could play some old "Green Acres" reruns featuring Arnold.
Do Muslims have any problems with rabbits? Just curious.
Posted by: joe-6-pack at November 30, 2006 09:15 PM
