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July 27, 2007

PETA Wants Lighthouse for 'Fish Empathy' Project

Got a dollar? Penfield Lighthouse, an historic lighthouse in Long Island Sound off of Penfield Beach (my favorite beach) in Fairfield, Connecticut, is up for sale by the federal government. Built in 1874 and on the National Register of Historic Places, it is partially submerged and sits on a jetty. While it is structurally sound, it is in need of extensive refurbishing and repair, and would likely be an expensive building to keep up. PETA would like to buy it. The plan?

PETA says it hopes to convert the lighthouse into the headquarters for its "Fish Empathy Project," devoted to ending fish abuse, complete with a memorial to the millions of fish killed every year and a cafe.

"We could serve faux fish sticks and other foods that don't involve killing fish," said Michael Prescott, PETA's manager of fish empathy campaigns. "For our British guests we could even serve faux fish and chips. They taste pretty good." [Yeah, those Brits will come all the way to the U.S. to eat the fake version of something they can get at home -- ed.]

Prescott said the lighthouse would be an ideal location for the world's first "Fish Empathy Quilt," a 300-square-foot quilt made by PETA volunteers.

"Fish are interesting, quizzical animals with unique personalities," he said.

I'll check with my brother-in-law, who enjoys fishing in the Sound, how many "interesting, quizzical animals with unique personalities" he has come across. Come to think of it, I've enjoyed some of them myself, thanks to his generosity!

Perhaps PETA could create a display with the same tasteful "Holocaust" theme they have used in the past. After all, we know how much more important fish and other animals are to the folks at PETA than, you know, actual folks.

The town of Fairfield is also interested in purchasing the lighthouse, and Fairfield's First Selectman Kenneth Flatto has his doubts as to the viability of PETA's plan:

"I really can't imagine any public way there could ever be a use of the facility by the public on a daily basis," he said. "You pretty much can only reach it by boat. We've had people who tried to walk get stranded out there before and need to be rescued."

But why rescue them? They could become food for the fish, something PETA could get behind with some enthusiasm. Think of it as "giving something back."

PETA, of course, hopes to convert those nasty types who earn an honest living by fishing:

"We hope that any commercial fisherman would try our faux fish and maybe get involved in a line of work that doesn't involve the murder of animals," he said. "I'd invite any fisherman who are worried to see what the fish empathy program is all about." He suggested visiting PETA's anti-fishing Web site, fishinghurts.com. The site features interesting tidbits about the fish, like the fact that they are incapable of closing their eyes.

You know, once a fish is dead, the fact that it can't close its eyes is no longer relevant. And does PETA have a job bank that those enlightened fishermen can utilize once they've seen the error of their ways? Will they provide them with the training they need to start a new career from scratch? Because I can't imagine the skills needed for fishing in the open seas would be much applicable in the corporate sector.

PETA's latest acquisition? (Photo: John Galayda/Connecticut Post)

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Posted by Pam Meister at 02:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Just Plain Stupid

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