January 13, 2006
What About the Children?
This story literally made me cry. Seven-year-old Nixzmary Brown was beaten to death by her stepfather while her mother sat in the next room feeding another baby.
Apparently Nixzmary had been the subject of physical and sexual abuse, as well as neglect, for a long time. Her school alerted child welfare authorities in New York City when they suspected abuse, but bureaucracy and incompetence worked against Nixzmary. The reason for her stepfather's final outrage? She had taken a yogurt without permission, after all the other children had gotten some (but she had been denied). Nixzmary was seven, but she only weighed 35 pounds.
If you are especially sensitive, don't read the article. However, if you are at all concerned with child advocacy, you should.
Normally, I am against government meddling in private lives. However, when the health and well-being -- the actual lives -- of innocent children are at stake, all bets are off.
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We hear it all. Social workers are overburdened, state bureaucracy gets in the way, yada yada yada. But as a society, it is our duty to protect the most vulnerable among us, those who represent our future.
People I know are foster parents. They are told by the state of Connecticut that the idea of foster care is to eventually reunite the children with their parents. I say bollocks.
If there is even a whiff of suspected abuse or neglect, I believe children should be removed from the home during the investigation. Then, if the charges are proven, the parents should be stripped of their parental rights and sterilized so that they can't do it again.
Realistic? Of course not...at least not the sterilization part. However, I do believe that many of these "second chances" end badly for the children. It's tragic and shameful. The welfare of the children should come before the hurt feelings and pride of abusive parents.
Clearly much needs to be done on the part of child welfare agencies. Their failures are apalling and should not be tolerated. But there's also the culpability of those directly responsible to consider -- the abusive parents.
With regard to the one who did the actual abusing, Cesar Rodriguez, Nixzmary's stepfather, for once I agree with the "abolish the death penalty" activists. Why? Because the death penalty is too good for him. He's being isolated in jail at the moment, but I say put him in with the general population. It's been said that there is a certain honor among criminals, and a co-worker of mine whose husband is a corrections officer at Riker's Island in NY confirmed it as true: those who abuse or kill children are at the very bottom of the heap as far as inmates go, and they receive "special treatment" while in prison as a result. I say let 'em have Rodriguez, and he would deserve all they have to dish out and more.
As for the girl's mother, John Podhoretz of the NY Post warns us to remember what happened to Hedda Nussbaum in the '80s. For those of you who don't remember, Nussbaum was the wife of Joel Steinberg, who cruelly beat to death his (illegally) adopted six-year-old daughter Lisa in a case that rocked the nation. (Steinberg got out of jail last year). Nussbaum avoided prosecution when her lawyers argued she was also a victim of Steinberg, and was too downtrodden to do anything to protect Lisa.
Podhoretz:
Hedda Nussbaum is correct that most of those who judge her don't know what it's like to be a battered wife. But most of us do know what it's like to be a parent — how you involuntarily wince or gasp when your small child so much as slips on the floor.
Like Hedda Nussbaum before her, Nixzaliz watched her daughter being brutalized by the man she lived with over a period of years without stopping him. Both of them overcame that involuntary shudder at the sight of the slightest childhood injury with an ease that suggests not a brainwashing but a moral sense degraded beyond recognition.
I agree. And so let's hope that Nixzmary's mother doesn't get off lightly. I cannot imagine standing by while anyone systematically abused one of my children, let alone my husband.
The most horrible part of this story for me? Not just the pain and suffering that Nixzmary endured all those years and in her final moments...but her alleged cries of, "Mommy, Mommy" for about two hours as she lay dying.
Mommy never came.
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Will SOMEONE have the courage to say what needs to be said about the Nixzmary Browns of the world? The responsibility for Nixzmary's death lies mostly with Nixzmary's mother and biological father. Where was he all this time? There are so many stupid women like Nixzmary's mother who are more concerned about keeping a worthless man around than taking their parenting responsibilities seriously. She had 6 kids! WHo and where were all their fathers?? Why is society expected to shoulder the burden for the so-called "reproductive rights" of irresponsible people. If cruel, idiots like these are reproducing rapidly, our future is in danger. The answer needs to begin with restricting reproductive rights for unsuitable people like these. Reproductive "rights" don't always have to be exercised, you know.
posted by AC at January 15, 2006 11:07 PM
I hate to say this but that is not entirely true. Yes the mother and stepfather are mostly to blame. However, I am angry and i do mean angry at the Child welfare departments all around the U.S. Remember susan smith and that lady in texas who drowned her 5 kids and didn't get what they deserved? I am upset that this happens every day and nobody has the balls to stand up and say "hey asshole stop hitting your kids" My ideas to reform this terrible situation would be to make, and yes i do think we should make these mothers who are out on welfare and having 5 kids or hell, even 1 kid and are not being held responsible for the day to day care of these children. I think that they should be forced to get sterilized after the 3rd kid. Why so harsh? well let me put it to you like this! These things don't happen unless the person doing this makes it! If they're given the opportunity to have more children they will abuse more!
I am outraged that nobody heard the cries of little children cooped up in an apartment building. There is no reason to lock or tie your children up! I am saddened but I am so angry that the child welfare office has this many cases but not enough social workers to act. Now, I am not trying to be nazi about it. Really, my intentions are for the safety of our single most precious resources...Our babies. As women, we should know how precious and beautiful our children are. Apparently, Nixmary's mother didn't and possibly the extended family. My daughter is 6 and weighs 42 lbs. This little girl only weighed 35 lbs. May the step-father burn in hell for being such a sick bastard. I am sorry for my swearing but it just angers me that these pedophiles are so vicious. I say you touch a child I cut off your hand! bet you wont do that again!
posted by
annonymous at January 17, 2006 10:06 PM
I say shoot the bastard between the eyes. As for the mother, she was no mother cause a real mother wouldn't let any and I mean ANY man beat on her child if she loved them.
What a sick bunch of people they are.
As for CPS, well why doesn't it surprise me that they did nothing. Let me tell you why.
They did nothing when I called them here in Ohio about a stepfather having his 2 year old step daughter saying that her private part was a vagina and nothing else. 2 years old and they said that wasn't enough to investigate. I called the 2nd time to report that he was mentally abusing her low and behold nothing was done.
Her mother tried committing suicide and guess what? The kids got taken away and put in my home. Yes I am talking about my grandchildren. I now have custody of my 3 year old grandaughter and the other 2 are back with their mother, the stepfather is out of the picture now that I have custody and he has no one to take his anger out on anymore. CPS is nothing but a joke anymore.
posted by
Jennifer at January 19, 2006 10:19 AM
iam disgusted to know this whoman sat around and allow a man to beat her daughter to death.does she need a man so bad , why didnt she took her kids and ran to the police or a shelter. and the so call family where were all the cousins grandmother and uncle.what kind of family is this were they living in another state that they didnot keep intouch.we can blame the system for everything but come on what are family for. i do hope someone kill them both in prison. i for one hope that do happen.somefolks in the community claim they say her with a black eye and walking like she was been sexualy molested.did anyone call acs.or the police no so what with the flowers and candles .its too late ,stop with the i am minding my business kids are dying.remember hedda nausbaum and joel steinberg.they are both out and walking around.i hope these two creeps never see the light again.and someone on rikers please kill both of them and save the state some money.good riddance
posted by
MARLENE SMITH at January 19, 2006 10:49 AM
Have you considered all the variables here? Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes. You are the most judgemental and self righteous people I have ever heard mutter such excruciating menutia.
posted by anonymous at January 19, 2006 12:11 PM
You know, you're right! We shouldn't judge anyone when a 7-year old child is dead...not by accident or illness, but by a brutal beating. How inconsiderate of us!
Thanks for stopping by!
posted by
Pam at January 19, 2006 12:38 PM
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT NOT ONLY NIXMARY FAMILY HAS FAILED BUT ALSO OUR CITY HAS FAILED. I HAPPEN TO BE A MOTHER OF A 7 YEAR OLD GIRL AND MARRIED TO A MEXICAN MAN, AND I'M SORRY BUT THE WAY THE STEPFATHER'S BROTHER SAID THAT THEY USE COLD WATER AS A FORM OF DISAPLINE IS A LIE... AS FOR THE PARENTS... I WISH THEM ONLY HELL.... OKAY I HAVE NO SYMPOTHY FOR THEM AT ALL. THEY SHOULD TOURMENT THEM FOR THE REST OF THE'RE SORRY ASS' LIVES. I WOULD TAKE THE PICTURE OF NIXMARY'S WAKE AND PLACE IT ALL OVER THE CELL WALL SO THAT HER MOTHER COULD BE CONSINTLY REMINDED OF HER CRIES FOR HELP.TO ME THE MOTHER IS NOT A VICTIM KONLY HER CHILDREN ARE... AS FOR THAT DISGUSTING MAN THAT CALLED HIMSELF THE FATHER... GIVE HIM 15 MINUTES OF FAME.. LET THOSE PRISIONERS DO TO HIM WHAT HE DID TO NIXMARY.. ON A DAILY BASIS. BUT THE KEY WILL BE NOT TO KILL HIM BUT TO TOURMENT HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS SORRY ASS LIFE... I WISH I WOULD WORK AT RIKERS ISLAND SO THAT I COULD MAKE THEIR LIVES A LIVING HELL... HOW DARE THEY DO THAT?! AND HOW DARE PEOPLE SAY "THE MOTHER IS ONLY ONE OF HIS VICTIMS" IF SHE REALLY LOVED AND CARED FOR FOR HER CHILDREN SHE WOULD OF PROTECTED THEM WITH "NAILS AND TEETH" BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT A REAL MOTHER DOES FOR HER CHILDREN.... I HOPE THAT THE JURY WILL GIVE THEM LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE... AND NOT THE DEATH PENALTY UNLESS IT ONE THAT THEY WILL FEEL ALOT.... OF PAIN & FEAR... IF THEY EVER READ THIS NOTE THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THEM... "I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL WITHOUT MERCY AND I HOPE THAT EACHTIME YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES YOYU WILL SEE NIXMARY'S LIFELESS BODY STARING AT YOU BOTH. AS FOR YOU YOU NASTY ASS WHORE, WHAT YOU CLAIMED YOURSELF AS A MOTHER I HOPE YOU WILL ONLY HEAR NIXMARY'S VOICE AND CRIES FOR HELP TO YOU YOU DUMB B-TCH! AS FOR THE STEPFATHER... I HOPE YOU GET TIED UP, RAPED ON A DAILY BASIS, STARVED, DUNKED IN COLD- ASS WATER (SEWER WATER) BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORTH THE TAP WATER WASTE.. AND WHAT EVER THAT IS PAINFULL YOU WILL FEEL, YOU NASTY SON OF A BI-CH!!!!!
posted by
Tania at January 19, 2006 04:43 PM
What needs to be done? Children need to be afforded the same protection against physical assault that our adult counterparts are. We are not allowed, under the law, to "spank" our next door neighbor if he pisses us off. I cannot hit my elderly mother, even though she inflicted plenty of physical abuse on me as a child.
We NEED legislation that will make corporal punishment a crime. Parents cannot be left to make their own judgments about where discipline ends and abuse begins. Nixmary's uncle said that her stepfather "Did what any normal parent would do... he took a belt to her." I wonder if anyone is checking out HIS kids?? The whole thing makes me sick.
Parenting without hitting is HARD. But it can be done, and done well. It's unfathomable to me that we teach our kids to "use your words", because we know that they cannot grow up to solve their problems with others using physical violence, yet we as a society continue to physically discipline them. It makes no sense.
posted by
panthergirl at January 21, 2006 08:26 AM
To the one who wrote, "Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes", you must either be a blood relative of Cesar Rodriquez or a sick person yourself. There was no excuse for the terrible things he did to Nixmary and he should be tortured just like she was in her 7 years of life. She suffered and it was people like you who chose to look the other way believing that it was nothing. Before you can defend the quilty with such conviction why don't you try walking in her shoe's. Imagine someone beating you regularly, raping you, starving you and finally taking your life from you by viciously attacking you. When you think about it now I'm sure it would be your worst nightmare.
posted by susan at January 21, 2006 09:15 PM
he father needs to die she was a little angel ad only wegihted 35 pounds. she had the right to take the yourget if they were not feading her.
posted by
sheyla at January 26, 2006 05:07 PM
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Will SOMEONE have the courage to say what needs to be said about the Nixzmary Browns of the world? The responsibility for Nixzmary's death lies mostly with Nixzmary's mother and biological father. Where was he all this time? There are so many stupid women like Nixzmary's mother who are more concerned about keeping a worthless man around than taking their parenting responsibilities seriously. She had 6 kids! WHo and where were all their fathers?? Why is society expected to shoulder the burden for the so-called "reproductive rights" of irresponsible people. If cruel, idiots like these are reproducing rapidly, our future is in danger. The answer needs to begin with restricting reproductive rights for unsuitable people like these. Reproductive "rights" don't always have to be exercised, you know.
I hate to say this but that is not entirely true. Yes the mother and stepfather are mostly to blame. However, I am angry and i do mean angry at the Child welfare departments all around the U.S. Remember susan smith and that lady in texas who drowned her 5 kids and didn't get what they deserved? I am upset that this happens every day and nobody has the balls to stand up and say "hey asshole stop hitting your kids" My ideas to reform this terrible situation would be to make, and yes i do think we should make these mothers who are out on welfare and having 5 kids or hell, even 1 kid and are not being held responsible for the day to day care of these children. I think that they should be forced to get sterilized after the 3rd kid. Why so harsh? well let me put it to you like this! These things don't happen unless the person doing this makes it! If they're given the opportunity to have more children they will abuse more!
I am outraged that nobody heard the cries of little children cooped up in an apartment building. There is no reason to lock or tie your children up! I am saddened but I am so angry that the child welfare office has this many cases but not enough social workers to act. Now, I am not trying to be nazi about it. Really, my intentions are for the safety of our single most precious resources...Our babies. As women, we should know how precious and beautiful our children are. Apparently, Nixmary's mother didn't and possibly the extended family. My daughter is 6 and weighs 42 lbs. This little girl only weighed 35 lbs. May the step-father burn in hell for being such a sick bastard. I am sorry for my swearing but it just angers me that these pedophiles are so vicious. I say you touch a child I cut off your hand! bet you wont do that again!
I say shoot the bastard between the eyes. As for the mother, she was no mother cause a real mother wouldn't let any and I mean ANY man beat on her child if she loved them.
What a sick bunch of people they are.
As for CPS, well why doesn't it surprise me that they did nothing. Let me tell you why.
They did nothing when I called them here in Ohio about a stepfather having his 2 year old step daughter saying that her private part was a vagina and nothing else. 2 years old and they said that wasn't enough to investigate. I called the 2nd time to report that he was mentally abusing her low and behold nothing was done.
Her mother tried committing suicide and guess what? The kids got taken away and put in my home. Yes I am talking about my grandchildren. I now have custody of my 3 year old grandaughter and the other 2 are back with their mother, the stepfather is out of the picture now that I have custody and he has no one to take his anger out on anymore. CPS is nothing but a joke anymore.
iam disgusted to know this whoman sat around and allow a man to beat her daughter to death.does she need a man so bad , why didnt she took her kids and ran to the police or a shelter. and the so call family where were all the cousins grandmother and uncle.what kind of family is this were they living in another state that they didnot keep intouch.we can blame the system for everything but come on what are family for. i do hope someone kill them both in prison. i for one hope that do happen.somefolks in the community claim they say her with a black eye and walking like she was been sexualy molested.did anyone call acs.or the police no so what with the flowers and candles .its too late ,stop with the i am minding my business kids are dying.remember hedda nausbaum and joel steinberg.they are both out and walking around.i hope these two creeps never see the light again.and someone on rikers please kill both of them and save the state some money.good riddance
Have you considered all the variables here? Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes. You are the most judgemental and self righteous people I have ever heard mutter such excruciating menutia.
You know, you're right! We shouldn't judge anyone when a 7-year old child is dead...not by accident or illness, but by a brutal beating. How inconsiderate of us!
Thanks for stopping by!
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT NOT ONLY NIXMARY FAMILY HAS FAILED BUT ALSO OUR CITY HAS FAILED. I HAPPEN TO BE A MOTHER OF A 7 YEAR OLD GIRL AND MARRIED TO A MEXICAN MAN, AND I'M SORRY BUT THE WAY THE STEPFATHER'S BROTHER SAID THAT THEY USE COLD WATER AS A FORM OF DISAPLINE IS A LIE... AS FOR THE PARENTS... I WISH THEM ONLY HELL.... OKAY I HAVE NO SYMPOTHY FOR THEM AT ALL. THEY SHOULD TOURMENT THEM FOR THE REST OF THE'RE SORRY ASS' LIVES. I WOULD TAKE THE PICTURE OF NIXMARY'S WAKE AND PLACE IT ALL OVER THE CELL WALL SO THAT HER MOTHER COULD BE CONSINTLY REMINDED OF HER CRIES FOR HELP.TO ME THE MOTHER IS NOT A VICTIM KONLY HER CHILDREN ARE... AS FOR THAT DISGUSTING MAN THAT CALLED HIMSELF THE FATHER... GIVE HIM 15 MINUTES OF FAME.. LET THOSE PRISIONERS DO TO HIM WHAT HE DID TO NIXMARY.. ON A DAILY BASIS. BUT THE KEY WILL BE NOT TO KILL HIM BUT TO TOURMENT HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS SORRY ASS LIFE... I WISH I WOULD WORK AT RIKERS ISLAND SO THAT I COULD MAKE THEIR LIVES A LIVING HELL... HOW DARE THEY DO THAT?! AND HOW DARE PEOPLE SAY "THE MOTHER IS ONLY ONE OF HIS VICTIMS" IF SHE REALLY LOVED AND CARED FOR FOR HER CHILDREN SHE WOULD OF PROTECTED THEM WITH "NAILS AND TEETH" BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT A REAL MOTHER DOES FOR HER CHILDREN.... I HOPE THAT THE JURY WILL GIVE THEM LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE... AND NOT THE DEATH PENALTY UNLESS IT ONE THAT THEY WILL FEEL ALOT.... OF PAIN & FEAR... IF THEY EVER READ THIS NOTE THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THEM... "I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL WITHOUT MERCY AND I HOPE THAT EACHTIME YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES YOYU WILL SEE NIXMARY'S LIFELESS BODY STARING AT YOU BOTH. AS FOR YOU YOU NASTY ASS WHORE, WHAT YOU CLAIMED YOURSELF AS A MOTHER I HOPE YOU WILL ONLY HEAR NIXMARY'S VOICE AND CRIES FOR HELP TO YOU YOU DUMB B-TCH! AS FOR THE STEPFATHER... I HOPE YOU GET TIED UP, RAPED ON A DAILY BASIS, STARVED, DUNKED IN COLD- ASS WATER (SEWER WATER) BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORTH THE TAP WATER WASTE.. AND WHAT EVER THAT IS PAINFULL YOU WILL FEEL, YOU NASTY SON OF A BI-CH!!!!!
What needs to be done? Children need to be afforded the same protection against physical assault that our adult counterparts are. We are not allowed, under the law, to "spank" our next door neighbor if he pisses us off. I cannot hit my elderly mother, even though she inflicted plenty of physical abuse on me as a child.
We NEED legislation that will make corporal punishment a crime. Parents cannot be left to make their own judgments about where discipline ends and abuse begins. Nixmary's uncle said that her stepfather "Did what any normal parent would do... he took a belt to her." I wonder if anyone is checking out HIS kids?? The whole thing makes me sick.
Parenting without hitting is HARD. But it can be done, and done well. It's unfathomable to me that we teach our kids to "use your words", because we know that they cannot grow up to solve their problems with others using physical violence, yet we as a society continue to physically discipline them. It makes no sense.
To the one who wrote, "Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes", you must either be a blood relative of Cesar Rodriquez or a sick person yourself. There was no excuse for the terrible things he did to Nixmary and he should be tortured just like she was in her 7 years of life. She suffered and it was people like you who chose to look the other way believing that it was nothing. Before you can defend the quilty with such conviction why don't you try walking in her shoe's. Imagine someone beating you regularly, raping you, starving you and finally taking your life from you by viciously attacking you. When you think about it now I'm sure it would be your worst nightmare.
he father needs to die she was a little angel ad only wegihted 35 pounds. she had the right to take the yourget if they were not feading her.
