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March 05, 2007

Bill Maher Given Honorary al-Qaeda Membership

Well-known American commentator Bill Maher, who has his own weekly show on HBO, has been made an honorary member of al Qaeda. Al Qaeda's number two man, Ayman al Zawahiri, made the announcement on respected news channel al Jazeera over the weekend.

"On behalf of Osama bin Laden, who couldn't be here tonight, I am pleased to welcome Bill Maher into the al Qaeda family as an honorary member. Maher has done much to forward the cause of al Qaeda and its partner, the Taliban, against the evil Bush administration and the Great Satan that is known as America. I send him this keffiyeh, worn by the late, great, Abu Musab al Zarqawi (peace be upon him) as a symbol of our brotherhood. In the name of Allah and those who serve him faithfully, Maher is hereby exempt from the scourge of dhimmitude on the day that Islam conquers the world."

Asked what prompted this generous gesture, al Zawahiri answered promptly that it was Maher's comments on his show Real Time with Bill Maher regarding his disappointment that Vice President Dick Cheney was not killed when a Taliban suicide bomber attacked a military base in Afghanistan:

"But I have zero doubt that if Dick Cheney was not in power, people would not be dying needlessly tomorrow...I'm just saying if he did die, other people, more people, would live. That's a fact."

Maher's publicist declined to comment, other than to say that Maher was "deeply touched" by al Zawahiri's gesture, and that he would consider with great care an offer by al Qaeda to travel to an undisclosed location to meet with al Zawahiri to further discuss their association.

HBO president Chris Albrecht declared the announcement to be a "victory" for free speech. "It just goes to show that al Qaeda isn't as archaic as its critics claim it to be. Heck, if they're watching HBO, home of provacative programming like Real Time with Bill Maher, The Sopranos and Rome, as well as lots of comedy specials, how bad can they be? We're proud to be the premium cable channel of choice for this influential worldwide organization."

When asked for comment, Dick Cheney responded with a question: "Bill who?"

Show Comments

Posted by Pam Meister at 02:56 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0) | Satire
When asked for comment, Dick Cheney responded with a question: "Bill who?"


Posted by: rightwingprof at March 5, 2007 03:27 PM

Sadly, this could be TRUE.

Posted by: Charles at March 5, 2007 04:20 PM

Honorary membership is the least al-Qaeda owes Bill Maher. If it weren't for insidious moonbats in the media convincing us that we ought to respond to atrocities by curling up and hating ourselves instead of by fighting back, terrorism wouldn't be effective.

Posted by: Van Helsing at March 5, 2007 04:46 PM

Well said, Van Helsing.

"To paraphrase: 'But I have zero doubt that if (Bill Maher and his ilk) (were) (responsible citizens telling the truth), people would not be dying needlessly tomorrow (especially their own countrymen to whom Bill and his kind have turned a cowardly face, or the thousands of Iraqis butchered hoping only for a better life)
...I'm just saying if (Bill and his type) did die (or better: repent and shut up), other people, more people, would live. That's a fact.'

Better than a fact, Bill. It's the truth!

Posted by: jng at March 5, 2007 07:00 PM

Let's not forget he got canned on ABC for saying the the hijackers on 9-11 were not cowardly.

Posted by: Brainster at March 5, 2007 08:59 PM

Is this fiction???


Posted by: Andrea - Radio Patriot at March 5, 2007 09:34 PM

Dittos what Cheney said ;)

Posted by: Kitty at March 6, 2007 08:25 AM

Good post.

Now class, compare and contrast the condemnation (on the Right) over Ann Coulter's inappropriate comment vs. the condemnation (from the Left) over Bill Maher's inappropriate comment.

Now you have 3 minutes to find a Conservative pundit criticizing Coulter.

You have 30 minutes to find a "Liberal" pundit criticizing Maher.

Good Luck.

Posted by: joe-6-pack at March 6, 2007 02:13 PM

I looked, joe, but was diverted by Maher's claim he didn't say it.


It's the March 3rd, Real Time with BM episode.

Posted by: paul at March 7, 2007 10:53 AM

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